Chapter 13

*Note* I kinda went a little personal in the last two quotes sorry about that I'm okay don't worry about me professor
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"Love must be as much a light as a flame" -Henry David Thoreau (The Art of Being Human tenth edition, Richard Paul Janaro, Thelma C. Altshuler, Henry David Thoreau, Page 416, left margin)

1900, God Speed, London, Edmund Blair Leighton

Love shouldn't just be platonic or just sexual. I mean there are people who have those relationships and it works out for them but those are usually just temporary. A common and much-needed thing in all healthy relationships is respect, passion, and attraction to that person. Love is an odd mix of everything under the sun and we can't choose who we fall in love with. It's the world's weirdest gamble and that is okay. The mystery of love is what makes it so enticing and attractive to so many people. So relying love on one thing alone makes it dull and has it lose its spark.

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"It is in the love of one's family only that heartfelt love is known" -Thomas Jefferson (The Art of Being Human tenth edition, Richard Paul Janaro, Thelma C. Altshuler, Thomas Jefferson, Page 419, right margin quote one)

1660, The Satyr and the Peasant Family, Warmond, Jan Steen

I don't like this quote... Not everyone has the stereotypical nuclear family that is oozing with love. If we are solely going off of biological family this quote couldn't be farther from the truth. I've seen families throw malice at their family members for their sexuality, religion, fashion sense, and choice of partner. There is no endless cloud of love in all families and the love some families give you isn't unique. You don't need a family to feel that sense of community. I believe well and true that family is who we choose. It doesn't matter if someone is blood to you they have the ability to love you like one of their own.

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"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever they forgive them." -Oscar Wilde (The Art of Being Human tenth edition, Richard Paul Janaro, Thelma C. Altshuler, Oscar Wilde, Page 419, right margin quote two)

circa 1635, Portrait of a family, Haarlem, Frans Hals

If I had to pick a quote from this entire chapter that I related to more it is this quote. As children, our parents are gods in our eyes, what they say is the law. Even when they are being awful to us we can't help but love them dearly. Growing up and taking off those rose-tinted glasses is the most jarring thing I've ever experienced in my life. What you think is normal isn't... What you believed to be punishment could have been abuse.

I do not have the best family life honestly and I don't know if I personally will ever forgive my parents for what they have done to me and my siblings while we were growing up. I don't want to get to specific in this post since you are a mandated reporter and all ma'am but, drugs and partners involved in drugs were always chosen over us children. Parents aren't always right and seeing them for who they are in like a stab in the gut. You feel like you did something wrong as a child to push them to act the way they do. You feel like you should have been a better kid and they would have loved you more... Just broken beyond repair. Even now as an eighteen-year-old this affects me in life, I am terrified that no one will care for me that I am and always will be a burden like I was to my parents. A child's love for their parents can just be well... destructive...

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